Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why can't they repair the damage caused by Elon Musk renaming Twitter to X?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What is your favourite summer outfit? Why?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Scientists just learned the age of America's deepest canyon - SFGATE

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Its year 2041, and president Hunter Biden has ordered every republican who sweared at him to be arrested and shot. I am on my way to the death row listening to the cheer of the Liberal mob chanting death death death. How can I escape?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Do interviewers discriminate against a candidate if he or she is overweight (assuming physical fitness is NOT part of the job requirements)?

I can count

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t cotton to rapists

What is the typical mentality of the Indian society?

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Has your wife or girlfriend ever been felt up in public by a stranger?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have a reading level above third grade

Julia DeVillers On Sign of Anal Cancer She Mistook For Menopause - TODAY.com

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Do crossdressers like wearing pantyliners and tampons in their butts?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Why is it easy to make money in the USA?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Here's What To Expect From A New COVID Variant Going Around - BuzzFeed

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Scientists Stunned as Rare Phenomenon Emerges from Arctic’s Icy Depths - Indian Defence Review

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Invisible radiation leaking from private satellite 'megaconstellations' could ruin radio astronomy forever, experts warn - Live Science

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What are your darkest taboo confessions?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

It’s Official: Dolphins and Orcas Have Passed the “Point of No Return” in Their Evolution to Live on Land Again - The Daily Galaxy

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can read

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I actually pay taxes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: